Marriage Letters: Opposites Attract

Every Monday, Amber and I join Joy and Scott Bennett in writing Marriage Letters.  It is an effort to encourage other married couples to fight the good fight, to do the hard work. Did you write one this week? Visit Amber’s blog to link it. This week’s topic–Opposites Attract.

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Matthew 10:7—For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

Dear Amber,

They say that opposites attract, and in the early days I think that was true.  You were funky, wore vintage clothes, and listened to Seattle rock.  I was straight-laced, wore Polo shirts and Birkenstocks, and listened mostly to Rich Mullins.  You had a deep drawl from the dirty south.  My accent was more neutral.  You wrote poetry.  I wrote economic analyses.  You were bound and determined to burn a slow mysterious wick.  I was bound and determined to percolate.

From the moment we met we stuck like magnets, my negative to your positive.  There was joy in discovery each others’ styles, tastes, and doctrines.  We found a common love in turtle cheesecake, so there was that.  Otherwise, we were an engaged contradiction, a young conundrum.  I think the best things start that way.

But if opposites attract, we’ve found that it is the commonalities that bind.  Over the last 12 years, we’ve learned to dance to the same music.  We’ve hurt together, forgiven each other, healed together, rejoiced together.  We’ve left churches together, found churches together, put down roots.  We’ve made deep and lasting friendships together, found a common love for common people.  We’ve shared love for four babies.  We’ve discovered that everyone (even the Baptists) love good wine.  We’ve both put off old habits, tried to kill the worst of our flesh.  We’ve both found the joy in Come Thou Fount.  We’ve managed to raise common ebenezers.

And through this process, we’ve learned the hard lesson.  We are neither opposite nor similar.  Instead, we are one.  The process wasn’t easy; it wasn’t pain free.  But it has been good, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Drinking coffee with you is still the best part of the morning,

Seth

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