Marriage Letters – On Outside Influences

We continue our Marriage Letters  series. Today Amber and I write on the topic “On Outside Influence….”  Will you write your spouse today? Will you speak the truth?


One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof
of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was
very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The
man said, “She is Bathsheba….” Then David sent messengers to get her.
~2 Samuel 11:2

Dear Amber,

I remember the look in your eyes when you told me you had discovered that outside influences were competing for my affections.  You sat on the edge of the bed, seething.  You were a woman on fire, a broken reed, scorched earth.  I remember that you told me, “never again,” then you stormed out, slamming the screen door behind you.

To date, it is still the worst day of my life.

It’s a brave new world with instant access, easy communication, microwaved gratification.  The images that objectify the fairer sex entangle the race of men until we are tripped and crushed by the weight of our flesh.  The devil has been dancing in the details of enticement since long before David and Bathsheba.  He knows our kind well, knows that a midnight stroll is always good bait.

We’ve battled through those dark days, the days when we were as likely to believe the sexy lies as we were the truth of the Spirit.  Now, we’re more more proactive–we have the same sleep schedules, practice openness and confession, erect walls against the influencers.  Pragmatic?  Maybe.  But when we crawl into bed at the end of every day, when I put my hand on your waist, you know I’m not on some rooftop stroll, and I know that your at peace.

I wish I could have learned these lessons an easier way.  I wish I would have been challenged in the pragmatic slogging out of the faith, of my roll as the gatekeeper of our home.  I wish I would have been warned against Princess Leia’s metal bikini when I was a kid, but I suppose that even in all of that there’s still grace.  There’s still sanctification.  And you love me still.

Help me tell this story, Amber.  Help me remind the young married couples at our church.  Help me remind our boys.  Help me remember because remembering is protection against the outside influence, the one that seeks to lead us to the killing fields in the moonlight.

Good night and good peace,



Please join AmberJoyScott, and me as we celebrate the truth about marriage. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others. If you write a post, share your link at Amber’s place today. Thank you for joining us.

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10 Responses to Marriage Letters – On Outside Influences

  1. pastordt says:

    Brave stuff for both of you. Blessings as you continue to be proactive and pragmatic. Kinda like those two words, actually…they’ve got a nice alliterative ring to them.

  2. Pingback: On Outside Influences ~ Marriage Letters | Joy in This Journey

  3. felicemifa says:

    This is an outstanding piece of writing: honest without being gratuitious, powerful and concise. I long to write like this. You have my admiration and, more importantly, you and your wife have my prayers and blessings.

  4. Princess Leia got a lot of us, chief…all is grace.

  5. Extraordinary. So honest. Human. Vulnerable. The truest form of courage. Wow. Just wow.

  6. Pingback: The Sunday List ~ David, Bathsheba, and a Chinese Welder. | Seth Haines

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