A Modest Hope for Titus Lee (Part II)

I was stumbling through my archives last night and ran across this prenatal piece I wrote for Titus Lee.

I imagine that he’ll grow quickly. We all do. He’ll learn to eat solid food soon, learn to say “scared” instead of “scarwed.” He’ll have a first grade Sarah. They’ll be destined for marriage until he meets his fourth grade Emily, and so on. He might play piano or guitar or he might dunk a basketball. In high school, he might be in show-choir like his momma. They’ll sing Smells Like Teen Spirit, and he’ll tell us how much he loves that kind of classic rock. In college, he’ll major in partying until he meets Jesus. Or maybe he’ll major in Jesus from the get go. That’d make me proud. He’ll marry, have children, work a job. I hope he eulogizes me at my funeral. He’ll say I wasn’t perfect, but hopefully he’ll say “he was a good man; he was my dad.”

We hold more loosely to those old modest hopes these days. Now, Amber and I chart growth in ounces and wonder when Titus Lee will stomach solid food. I think that’s all the better.


There are lessons to be learned in the rearranging of hopes: the fierceness of a mother’s resolve; the faith that extends to doctors and friends; the joy found in a toddler’s smile.

Titus Lee has taught me well. I never thought to hope for that.

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10 Responses to A Modest Hope for Titus Lee (Part II)

  1. “There are lessons to be learned in the rearranging of hopes.” Indeed. That Titus is teaching all of us more than he will know.

  2. pastordt says:

    Our kids teach us things we never imagine. And right about now, I’m not so sure that your hopes for him are all that modest: they are life-saving hopes. And that’s about as big as they get. Joining you in hopeful prayer and saluting both you and Amber for your fierce love.

  3. The grace and hope in which you and Amber live this struggle makes me cry every time I read your story. Thank you for finding a way to be honest and sad and full of praise all at the same time.

  4. Titus Lee (and his Mum and Dad) teach us all. Still praying daily for that little man.

  5. erin a. says:

    Isn’t that true? Titus has taught us well. And what a great blessing. I am praying for him!

  6. ~ Patricia says:

    “rearranging hopes”….not lost hope, or hope deferred…just rearranging. Speaks volumes.

    You and Amber and your adorable boys are in my many thoughts and prayers.

  7. Just learned about your situation, and you are in my prayers.

    If your hopes from that prenatal posts had played out exactly along those lines, you’d still be learning from your children. My situation is nothing like yours, but what I used to call faith, before I had kids, Bah!

  8. denadyer70 says:

    LIke Megan, I recently learned of your challenges this last year. This was beautiful, and your family is in my thoughts and prayers. 🙂

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